Yesterday i happened. It really did. The answer came or maybe i should state that the answers came. One after another, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, just the right shape and colour and size and they fitted, you can bet they fitted perfectly.
Let me try and explain. I will try honest i will, not sure if i can do it justice but i will try.
For many many months, which have turned into a few years i have looked for an answer. I read other’s blog post and found some interesting things there, but somehow the pieces did fit into my puzzle. Next i explored in the internet, but yet again the pieces were almost right, but quite. Something was missing, Something wasn’t quite right. Then i went to the library and searched all the best books that were on offer. The advice was good, but still didn’t fit.
Many would offer me advice, the things that had worked for them. After passing through minimalism, simplicity, different types of yoga and meditation, I still did not have the piece that fit correctly. Then came the eat better, eat organic, be a vegetarian, eat simply all good ideas in their own rights, but yet they just didn’t fit either. Next came exercise, walk a little more every day, now that looked like a piece that would fit, but sadly after only a few days i was in bed and found moving at all extremely painful and getting out of bed left me exhausted.
They had to be something else. I prayed long and hard and i sat with God and my thoughts on many occasions in the hope that the answers would come. I read the Scriptures and other church books. I sat, i thought, i prayed, i slept and then woke and did it all again.
Yesterday the correct pieces came one by one. It began with the hymn, In Humility Our Saviour . It was the beginning of the second verse that did it ‘Fill our hearts with sweet forgiveness, teach us tolerance and love …’ How many times have i read those words? Hundreds? Thousands? And yet here they stood, all new and shiny and just the right piece to help me with my puzzle. I prayed ‘fill my heart with sweet forgiveness, let me forgive those who have trespassed against me, help to forgive myself for my failings and forgive others readily for theirs. The words continued, teach me to be tolerant of myself and to show love and kindness towards myself. Others may not have done so in the past, but that doesn’t mean i am not worthy of such love.
I have searched within my sphere for peace, but yet Jesus Christ stood knocking at the door and all i had to do was open it and let him in. I searched for quiet and it was within me all the time. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I cannot say i will not again be casting about for the right piece of the puzzle, i may, but i hope that when the time comes i will remember where to look first next time.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)”
There are many beautiful and praiseworthy things in this world, but there is only one way to find peace and that is by allowing God to make pieces of the puzzle and then allow Him to slot them into place, at the right time.