A big book, with lots of words written in true Covey style. However if it has one fault it is this; they should have written two books based on the same principles but one for business and one for parents and siblings to use in the home. This version looks at how we can win or lose Trust in business and then at the end of each chapter there is a little bit about how to use the principles in home.
Covey starts this book by saying that trust is like waves. The First wave – Self Trust, Second Wave – The Relationship Trust, The Third Wave – Organizational Trust, The Fourth Trust – Market Trust, and the Fifth Trust – Societal Trust.
It is almost impossible to condense the book and it’s over all purpose into 500 words or so, but if you think you have a trust problem at work either because of something you have done or something someone has done to you, which has caused you to mistrust them, this is book for you. If you have had a personal relationship and for some reason the trust between peopled involved have been marred then this is the book for you, The principles are the same and the way to build trust is the same whether at work or at home, only we can walk away from work at the end of the day, it is more difficult to walk away from our family or those we love.
We need to learn to ‘walk our talk’. We need to act in such away that we are always trusted. That when we say we will do something, we will do it. Trust can be broken easily and quickly and can then take many years to rebuild. Covey names 4 Cores; Integrity, Intent, Capabilities, and Results. Without all of these things we cannot hope that others will trust us. After spending a chapter on each Core and why we need each one to support the others Covey then spend a good third of the book detailing how we can rebuild trust that has been broken.
Covey gives no less than 13 Behaviours that will help us rebuild Trust. Covey states that ‘we judge ourselves by Intent (thought) but we judge others by Results (behaviours). It is impossible for me to pull one Behaviour out of all the ones given, but i will give you a list –
- Talk Straight – tell the truth and the leave the right impression
- Demonstrate respect – The Waiter’s Model
- Create Transparency – ‘Try to be transparent, clear and truthful…’ (Jean Cyril Spinetta)
- Right Wrongs- Humility and Courage or Ego and Pride?
- Show Loyalty- Speak about others as if they were present
- Deliver Results – do what you say you will do
- Get Better – continue training or learning
- Confront Reality – say it how it is
- Clarify Expectations – ‘Almost all conflict is a result of violated expectations.’ (Blaine Lee)
- Practice Accountability – Hold yourself accountable
- Listen First –
- Keep Commitments – ‘Stand up for what’s right, in small matters and large ones, and always do what you promise,’ (Reuben Mark)
- Extend trust – From trusted person to trusting leader
Each Behaviour has a chapter to itself. Each chapter gives an overall explanation of the Behaviour and then how we can rebuild trust by incorporating the Behaviour into our lives and how we can then extend trust to others.
(NB Stephen M R Covey is the son of the Stephen Covey who wrote 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)