Sticks and Stones…

Sticks and Stones…

… may break my bones, but calling names won’t hurt me’

Unfortunately a well known and too often used play ground taunt, but i would like to change it to this –

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones and calling names may kill me’

At the age of 5 i went to school. At the age of 5 i went to school and felt abandoned by everyone i had ever known. When i was 4 and a big bit my parents moved us from the city to the neighbouring town. At the age of 30 i learnt it was to cover up their lies. Everyone i had ever known was left behind including any family and friends. At the age of 4 and 11/12 i did not understand, not that anyone tried to tell me why we had moved. At 5 i went to school and i stopped talking. At 5 i stopped talking and nobody noticed or did anything about it, i would grow out of it after all they said!

The first time i remember being bullied at school i was 6. At the age of 6 a new girl came to the school and i was asked to be her friend. But 2 weeks later she ran off with the other girls and pulled faces at me and laughed. At the age of 6 i had become a no-one. I had one friend all the way through first and second school at the age of 21 she died. Because i didn’t speak no noticed that i could read, even ‘big’ books with little or no trouble, they thought i was stupid. Silence meant stupid! My mother would tell me that she wished i hadn’t been born and that she wished i would go away. She even gave me to my aunt once or twice but my dad always came and got me.

You want to know when i started with Fibromyagia it was when i 5 and went to school and was either bullied/abused or just ignored. Some people won’t like me writing this, but that okay as it’s not about you, it is about me. Remember –

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but calling names will kill me!!!’

Photographer, Rich Johnston has done the following photography, which tells so much more than just the words or the made-up bruises.

sticks and stones

pathetic

 

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10 thoughts on “Sticks and Stones…

  1. You certainly have plenty to say now!! Life is awful isn’t it, sometimes we go through hell and don’y know why, or how to make it stop. I have been there in different ways, I think most people have really whether they will admit it or not. We really do need more love in the world. xx

    1. I may seem to talk a lot but only to certain people, i am still not the life and soul of the party, so to speak. Although we all have different trials to go through and to learn from i am not sure that everyone was bullied, abused or ignored. In fact you could say that some people have lived charmed lives.

    1. I firmly believe in the genetic connection but i also believe that is environmental causes that trigger it into action. when i was a child i kept being told it was growing pains and would grow out of it. I had depression as a young teenager when the word depression was only a medical term.

  2. I didn’t realize you went through such hard difficulties as a young child. 😦 I can never explain why things like that happen to children who are too young to understand what is going on or how to handle it.

    I’ve been watching a couple shows lately with Maya Angelou, who didn’t talk for five years, from age 7-13. And now she is a great voice for many, much like you are, Beverley. Thank you for sharing this with us, your readers. I pray it makes us all more compassionate to everyone because we don’t know what all they’ve been through. And that it makes us especially aware of what young children may be experiencing so that we can help in some way.

    1. I did speak at home, just not at school. School became this big horrible scary place which i was made to go to every day. It was not really done to change school or even chose a school, you went to the one nearest to where you lived and that was that. But most of the children from where we lived went to the other schools. My mother wasn’t a monster, we learn that about mother’s, she was fighting her own demons, but as a child i didn’t understand and nothing was ever explained.

      1. I love your attitude of forgiveness and understanding: “My mother wasn’t a monster, we learn that about mothers.” Agreed. And as a mother, I want that same understanding from my own kids.

  3. That truly is a stupid saying. Words can crush the spirit an d do more damage than anything else. My mother taught nome the power of words by speaking hateful ones. It was all she knew to do from her place of pain and demons.

    1. I am grateful that me and my mother made peace in recent years, but school was just a waste of time for me back then, but now if i could go back knowing what i know now i think i would have stood my ground with them bullies.

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