Crazy Pills

Crazy Pills

pills

One of the added symptoms of FMS is depression. For me this was probably the first symptom that my body and mind was under attack from something unknown.

I have had bouts of depression all my life. I think the parts of my life that i weren’t being clinically being treated for depression, i was still depressed. However in the last few weeks under my Doctor’s advice i have weaned myself off the ‘crazy pill’ i take every day. I have not taken them for 9 days now and i feel better in my body and spirit without them and this is why.

The pills are supposed to lift my mood, make me feel more in control of my life and generally help me cope, however that’s not what they were doing, they were :

  • causing nightmare and night terrors
  • they made my mind and body sluggish
  • every time i tried to eat i felt nauseous and had to stop
  • i craved sugar
  • i could not relax
  • i could not quiet my mind enough to meditate
  • they did not lift my mood
  • i felt paranoid
  • i had no emotions
  • i couldn’t think
  • i couldn’t remember things
  • i had an urgency to pee all the time

This is where i am at now:

  • the nightmares and night terrors have gone
  • i sleep better
  • i wake less
  • i pee less
  • my body and spirit are both more awake
  • i can eat
  • i still fancy chocolate but the craving has gone
  • i am able to sit still
  • meditate better
  • i am no longer paranoid that people are watching me
  • i have emotions – i feel happiness and i cry
  • i was able to teach and direct a class for an hour and a half on Saturday

There are negative things too:

  • the pain is higher
  • the fatigue is higher
  • the pain pills hit me harder
  • and don’t seem to work as well
  • my migraines are back

Although there are times in our lives when pills are not only necessary but they can save lives, but we need to be aware that medication will alter us physical and some times our mental as well, because that is what they are supposed to do. Now i am in a place of i am not sure what to try next or if to try anything next at all, but time will tell.

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6 thoughts on “Crazy Pills

  1. Interesting. My doctor has recently cut my dose by 50%. i am certainly more alert but pretty much emotionally out of control.

  2. Meds are bad, especially mind altering. I guess they affect everyone somewhat different. The pain is a big problem. I have bad neck problems but choose to use no pain pills but I do use a sleeping pill.

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