Two people in one?

Two people in one?

be stillIn his book ‘Teach us to sit still’ by Tim Parks he writes about pain in the body although their is no damage and no repair needed. After speaking to a number of medical personal and having countless tests they all came back with the same results; there is nothing wrong but we could do… Then one morning he wakes up abruptly and pronounces the words, ‘You are two different people…’Ok, so who?’

Oliver Sacks in his book ‘Migraine’ shares the fact that there are those that have migraine because they want to and no amount of trying to cure their migraines would be of any use. He shares an experience about a woman, who experiences weekly migraines except for the four weeks in the summer when her children are sent to stay with grandparents. When they family was reunited the migraines returned.

Do either of these people have control over their pain to be able to turn it off and on at will? Sacks would say ‘no’. Many people suffer from daily pain, which is as much psychological as it is physical.

Doctor’s have problems curing or treating FMS successfully as there is nothing to treat in the body and what is going on in the mind is unknowable – almost! Yet all those who suffer from daily pain want to be cured.

So who are you?

Do you know who you are?

I am a ‘no-person’, no-one, nothing, invisible!

Life has taught me to withdraw to a corner. It has taught me to be quiet. Unseen. Unnoticed.

When we are taught these things enough we become what others expect of us. Yet in my younger days i remember being the person in the middle of things. I cannot say i was a loud socialite, but i certainly wasn’t the quiet mouse people seem to think i am now. Can i suddenly switch back to the person i once was? No! It is not possible! From now on all i can do is move forward.

Is this the cause of my body pain? My mental anguish?

All i know is something isn’t right. All i do know is that pain makes you stop!



2 thoughts on “Two people in one?

  1. I wish those who don’t have misunderstood illnesses could read your words here, Beverley, and try to understand how it makes a person feel. The “invisible” illnesses that aren’t easily treated are sometimes judged as imaginary, but that’s so not true. There’s still so much we don’t know about our bodies (including our minds). I pray one day they will find better relief (or cures!) for those who suffer with chronic and often undiagnosable pain.

    1. Part of the problem of finding suitable treatment is that people always want to look outwards, they presume that someone else can sort it out when in fact only we can sort it for ourselves. Once all possible treatments have been tried then it is time to mend the soul. Thank you for your comment Lisa.

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