For me that sums up FMS very well. We take a step forward think we are getting somewhere and then before we know it we are flat on our backs, being dragged to our feet several steps back from where we began.
What am i talking about? Confused?
‘Barbie’ is still being more of an issue than i would like right now. I have told her it is not on, but she doesn’t seem to be listening. She doesn’t like the heat, but she doesn’t like the cold, she needs more sleep but then struggles to settle and stay asleep – 5.30 mornings may be nice if my body was in better shape and i had been asleep since 9 pm but i was still awake at 1 am and that is not enough sleep.
There is this almost constant battle to get the body to function and yet function it must to some extent at least.
The one thing that is a constant help to me it my meditation practice. I have been able to practice sitting in a semi crossed legged position for the last two weeks but last night i had to lay down, but my body scan was successful in easing ‘Barbie’ quite a lot. Then my neighbours decided to start playing darts and although my mind had accepted the noise from the children playing outside, that ‘thwack’ broke into my reverie and i was just into that nice floaty place. If you meditate you will know what i mean, if you don’t it is difficult to explain, but i think all FMS patients or all those with chronic pain should have prescribed a course of meditation, however it only helps if you ‘do it’ regularly.
Anyhow (big sigh) ‘one step forward, two steps back’ – what if there was a way to accept the step backs, the set backs? They tend to come in lots of guises; yesterday you made dinner but today you are having trouble holding a spoon, two days a go you went for a short walk round the park but today you are having trouble getting out of bed, two days ago i could sit semi-crossed legged on my meditation cushion and last night i had to lay down. I am sure you are getting the idea!
In Fibro circles we talk about ‘Pacing’ but from what i can see most people do not understand what it means or how to do it properly. This is how i hear others are doing it – see how much you can get done in a day even if you can only do something for 15 mins and then change to something else and then come back to it later-
This is what the leaflet i was given by a good friend says – how long can you perform a task without undue pain or fatigue? Now half the amount of time and only do that task for that amount of time. (sorry bad English, but hopefully you will get the idea)
It is NOT about seeing how much you can CRAM into your day! Stop it! Stop it now! I give you permission to STOP IT!
You see those with Fibro are perfectionists, not only do they want everything done now they want it done perfectly too. Today is about this (i guess) –
- How long can you do something for without undue pain or fatigue? Time it!
- How can you get this task done within the time that your body will allow?
- How can you lay aside the need to have everything perfect all the time?
- What are your basic needs and are they being met?
The other day i was line dancing in my kitchen just a few steps but it made me smile – here is the Electric slide maybe you would like to have a go yourself – ‘did you laugh today for more that 2 second’? (Landry)