I just thought i would ask to make sure that you were living your own life and not someone else’s before i begin today’s lesson, for want of a better word. You see, i often find myself living someone else’s life, until i come a cropper and fall over (not literally, but metaphorically speaking), although falling over literally is not beyond my remit these days either.
Last Tuesday i woke up feeling good! Yep! Really good! In fact i felt so good i decided i would get up and get on a bus and go shopping in the next city over, about 10 miles away. I didn’t rush and arrived late morning with a list of things i wanted to buy. I thought i knew my limitations and so after getting off the bus and after being up for some four hours and being hungry, i decided on an early lunch in my favourite place, a book shop. Oh sorry did you think i was going to say something else?
From there i had mentally worked out a route around the shops i needed to visit; a new dress for me, a gift for my daughter’s birthday, a gift for my granddaughter, Ava, a book or two, some nice chocolate, a new handbag – looked at loads, but didn’t find the right one, about six shops in all and then i headed home.
I was achy and tired and the bus was busy and the person who sat next to me and decided they needed half of my seat as well, all added to the tiredness. I was out about 5-6 hours, but my body decided it had had enough. So i made some simple food and went to bed.
Wednesday morning came and my body had that ‘what have you done to me feeling’ but i had things to do, not much, just the odd thing around the house and so i pottered. Come the early evening i went to walk upstairs and there is was – i just couldn’t do it. I stopped for a few minutes and then tried again, another couple of steps and i had to stop again. Eventually two steps at a time i made it upstairs and laid down in bed.
Overnight my body was doing that twitchy thing it does, which i knew wasn’t good.
Thursday arrived and i stayed in bed a few hours, but i had a lunch date with a friend and then i was going to look after my granddaughter, Amelia so my daughter could escape for a few hours. I continued to top up the pills but by early evening i knew my body wasn’t happy.
When Friday arrived i was done for, utter and complete exhaustion and pain flare. My head was banging and my muscles were twitching and joints felt like they were going to pop. I let the cat out, got some breakfast and went back to bed. That is one odd thing i have noticed about flare days, i am still hungry, usually starving.
Thankfully the cavalry arrived by lunchtime in the form of daughter Emily and Granddaughter Amelia and those little hugs and kisses are so precious. My daughter made me lunch and then she cleaned as i slept.
Things had calmed down somewhat by Saturday, as long as i didn’t do anything…anything at all…!
Sometimes i have this weird notion that if i believe the demon has gone, it will be gone and then just for a day i act like a normal person and do normal things, like get on buses and wander round shops, but i did have a lovely day out. Back to normal today.
So the next time your decide to live someone else’s life, just be warned it may come back to bite you!!