About a year after i had separated from my now ex-husband and had finally settled my children and myself into a new home, I received some news that was to blow my world a part. I am not going to share what the news was as it is as much someone else’s story as it is mine.
At first there was utter disbelief, then there was anger, then shock and then my whole world crumbled around me. While trying to keep myself together enough to be able to put my children to bed that night, telling them as i usually did that i loved them and sleep well.
Then I proceeded to go back downstairs to finish tidying up and getting ready for the following day. A short while after this i felt a sharp terrifying pain in the centre of my chest. I fell to the floor, feeling sick and disoriented. I laid for several minutes on the floor not knowing what i should do next. I had two thoughts going through my head – i needed help, but to call help would mean my children, who were all asleep and quite young at the time would be all alone in the house.
In time the pain subsided enough for me to pull myself upright, where i stood shaking and praying. In the end i decided to go to bed and if i didn’t sleep then i would have to wake one of the children to get help. I edged my way along the wall and crawled up the stairs and laid down on my bed fully clothed. I was soon asleep, but what happened next is something i will always remember.
I found myself dressed in a white dress sat in a beautiful room, not unlike the one in the photograph, but smaller and less chairs. There were chairs around the room and there was silence and a sense of peace. At one end of the room was two doors, that were facing each other. As i sat looking at the floor a felt a presence and as i looked up i saw that a lady, who was also dressed in white was stood in front of me. She was tall and had long red hair and a gentle smile.
She took a seat across from me and as i looked at her she spoke. She told me that she was Eva my grandmother and that she had come to tell that i had died, but she said i had a choice to make; i could come with her, or i could return to my life. She also went on to show me what would happen if i went with her and what would happen if i chose to return, although now, i do not remember what she showed me or told me.
As i woke in the morning, the sun was shining through the window and i had a distinct impression that i had made a choice and the choice to come back and that choice had been made on the fact that i needed to protect my children and i didn’t know who would take care of them if i didn’t. The pain was gone and i felt quite well.
I believe that night i really did die and i really did meet my grandmother, a lady i have not met in this life. I learnt that when we die we are shown things that allow you to make a choice and that choice is to either come back or to continue on, but it is not an uninformed choice. I also know that when my time comes my Grandmother Eva will come for me and welcome me back. I also believe that we do not know that we have die, for to us it is life somewhere else and someone will come and tell us and stay with us until we are ready to move on.