I am in the process of changing my surname back to my maiden name, but that is another story, when it occurred to me how many times i introduce myself as ‘Beverley’ and i have Fibromyalgia. Actually i don’t, but usually the next question people ask me is ‘what is wrong with you? I think it is a need for people to place me in a category, not unlike asking someone their name and what they do for a living!
It got me to thinking about the fact that really and truthfully i am not the thing that is disabling me and it is not me.
Two years ago i barely got out of bed, in fact it was difficult for me to even turn over in bed. If anyone tried to tell me that i could fight this thing with the right help and support, much of which needed to come from myself, my instant thought was, that they were insane. For i truly believed that i would never be able to do anything more than shuffle to the bathroom and back to bed.
But life changed.
As the pain and fatigue gone away? Did the depression evaporate into thin air? Was i suddenly cured? Nope none of those things.
There are days or sometimes moments in days when i am in bed and lifting anything more than a paperback book is all i can do, including the shuffle to the bathroom and back. Yet there are days when i really do manage to walk those 2, 000 steps i am trying to do every day and they are making a difference, not just in my legs, but throughout my body.
So what changed?
Instead of introducing myself ‘Beverley Fibromyalgia’ i began to tell myself i am not my disability and my disability is not me and the difference being, that i began to believe it. I mean really and truly believe it. My thoughts changed. My attitude changed from a ‘I cannot’ to a ‘I can try’ and if i do not succeed today it does not matter for i can try again tomorrow or the next day. Eventually i will succeed.
I may never walk from Land’s End to John O’Groats or even Newcastle-Upon-Tyne to Carlisle (coast to coast) but if i can do those things i need to do for myself on a daily basis then it is enough.
I love this quote from Gretchen Rubin –
‘What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while.’
So what one thing can you do today, to make tomorrow better?
PS Tomorrow i have exciting news to share 🙂