‘Be still and know that I am God…’ (Psalms 46:10)
Last week i suffered a major pain flare for no reason i can think of, but it could have been linked to any number of things, the main culprit was possibly Aspartame found in some juice i drank. But, it made me understand several things. It made me understand that no one else can know my body as I can. No one else is going through the same pain as I am, even if they have the same disability. It also made me realise that no matter what other people may say, clinicians and researchers alike this Fibromyalgia is a defunct central nervous system gone haywire for any number of reasons. In short the way the brain perceive and interprets pain signals from the body is broken, however, fixing something you cannot see is like fixing something that isn’t even there.
It is estimated that 1.7 million adults suffer from Fibromyalgia in the UK. (focus on disability) and doctors still have little or no idea on what is it, how it is caused or in deed how to treat it. It is only possible for me to speak from my own experiences of the pain. This is how the flare began.
The pain began in my left hand, then quickly moved up my arm and into my shoulder, then proceeded to travel first down the left side of my body to my foot and toes and then across my body to my right side. Within a few hours I went from sitting, talking to my daughter and my mother to being at home in bed, barely able to move and being unable to stop shaking because of the pain. I took an extra dose of analgesia and then a different type of analgesia and after two hours of hoping the little pills would work, I knew that they weren’t going to. Normally before this point I would have got into a bath of very hot water, but now I don’t have a bath and didn’t think I would be able to stand in the shower, however after three hours of hell i forced myself to stand up, undress and stand in the shower. At this point the pain was so bad, I would rather have been giving birth!
Once in the shower I made the water as hot as I could bear it and then a bit hotter. Afterwards i cocooned myself in a small blanket and then my duvet and prayed. In time the pain subsided until it was more bearable. Even to this day the pain hasn’t receded back to what it was before the flare hit. This is why I believe the pain is caused by a fault in the central nervous system, or indeed I could say ‘my on board computer broke and I could really do with a new motherboard.’
I know of people who will try every treatment going, those treatments that are prescribed by the medical profession and those potions and lotions from those who think they know better. Some, will try every kind of natural health treatment there is going. But, in the end they are still in pain! People may be able to work, but they are still in pain, they may run marathons, but they are still in pain, they may like the cow, jump over the moon and run away with the spoon, but they are still in pain.
The thing we need to do i learn to sit still and give ourself time to heal, we need to stop fighting ourselves, our bodies. We need to begin to listen more closely to what our bodies are telling us. Many if not all those with Fibromyalgia have suffered one if not many traumatic events in their lives and yet they keep trying to run away from themselves in the hope of a quick fix. One of my daughters is trying to lose weight and is doing very well indeed, but I keep warning her that it is a MARATHON and not a SPRINT and the same can be said for those trying to recover some kind of life after their on board motherboard flicked a switch and died and were diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, we are in a Marathon and not a Sprint.
We need to STOP and BE STILL in mind, body and spirit and have patience while our bodies heal themselves.