A Time To Be

A Time To Be

rice puddingI have just added a new book to my morning study and meditation, titled ‘Stepping into the Wilderness’ by Susan Carter Payne. (via Netgalley)

In the first chapter Payne writes the following –

“Those who give us a quiet place to rest enable us to soar because they provide us with a safety zone in which to to return.

Most of us first experience true comfort as a small child sitting in a parent’s lap, snuggled into the soft warmth of love. We embrace our personal scents of love and protection. Even today as grown-ups, certain fragrances trigger memories of silent acceptance.”

But, what if all that is not true?

What if we do not have those memories from childhood because they were lacking or indeed not there at all. How can we find as ‘grown-ups’ those same ‘personal scents of love and protection?’

I did not have a bad childhood. My parents were as loving as they knew how to be, but even so has a grown-up I have often felt a lack of acceptance for who I am and what I am becoming. We talk about love as if we should all know what it is and what it feels like, but for someone of us our ideal love is not the first love we were presented with as a child.

Ask yourself the following questions –

  • Do you know who you are?
  • Are you living a life that is of someone else’s design?
  • Do you really know what ‘love’ feels like?

Many years ago when I first met my husband I asked my mother ‘how do you know, he is the right one,’ her reply was simple ‘you will just know!’ I am not married to him any more and haven’t been for many years, but that does not mean that in that moment I did not know, for I truly did. Recently someone at church asked me ‘if I had chosen wrongly, with my first husband.’ After a moments pause to recover from the surprise of such a question, I answered ‘certainly not.’ Love has a fragrance all of it’s own.

I believe that when it comes to ‘love’ we will just know. When we are being offered total acceptance for who we are in the very moment we will also know. We will not have to try harder, be different, or indeed change who we are to fit, we already fit. Love has a fragrance all of it’s own.

But do we know what it smells like?

When my children and my granddaughters wrap their arms around my neck, we do not need to say the word love to know without any doubt that love is spoken here. I always wanted my children to know that they were loved no matter what was going on in their lives and together we had to to climb mountains, scale cliffs and swim deep oceans, figuratively speaking, but was always spoken through our very acts towards each other. It had a fragrance all of it’s own.

As for fragrances of love from home; my mother’s home made rice pudding and Sunday roast and lavender wax furniture polish, to name just a few.

What fragrances remind you of a time when you were loved?


3 thoughts on “A Time To Be

  1. What a super question.. for me it was my Grandma’s home made bread, as I would go stay for weeks at a time in the summer holidays with my younger brother.. I still remember her playfully slapping dough on my nose and covering my face in flour.. 🙂 She had a fireside oven and would let the bread rise under tea-towels on the hearth… The best times of my life were at my Grandparents… away from squabbles and fights back home.

    1. Yes, I also remember staying at my grandmother’s and she really did have a feather bed, which is the one thing I do remember. The year before she died, when she was 85, she would forget people, but she always knew who I was and where is the family I belonged. I have always wanted to be like my grandmother and not like my distant mother and I hope that I am. Thank you for sharing your memory xxx

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