Change comes at all seasons of life. Sometimes we chose and sometimes it chooses us. However we have all overcome the changes of the past and will be able to work through whatever is happening in our lives at this time too, but when we are in the middle of change it is all consuming and there does not feel like there is even time to take a breath, but there is and we do.
Holley Garth in her book ‘You’re Going To Be Ok‘ she writes beautifully about change. She says, “I realized there are two major types of change: anticipated change and unanticipated change.”
Anticipated change is the type of change that happens when we know something is coming. What makes this type of change stressful is not that we don’t know what going to happen but rather that knowing and experiencing are two different things.
Unanticipated change is when we do not see something coming, or we did see is accurately. We are caught off guard and we need to make unplanned adjustments, sometimes very quickly.
In both types of change what is expected of us is response. Often we are forced to make difficult decisions quickly, far quicker than we would like to and these decisions always require energy and emotions, but we can move through change and decide to either see it as negative or positive. We can wonder if it was a waste of time or we can ask ourselves what did I learn from this change?
Although we may feel like our lives are spinning out of control because of the change that is happening we can take back that control. Holley talks about our lives as being a ‘yard’ and what is in our yard we have control over. God gave us dominion over our yard, we may not be able to control what is going on outside of our own yard, but within our yard boundaries we have control over our; Feelings, Attitudes and Beliefs, Behaviour, Choices, Values, Limits, Talents, Thoughts, Desires, and Love or in other words we can control what is inside of us.
We do not, however, have control over someone else’s yard or indeed feelings, but we can decide how we are going to let the changes that are happening in our life effect us. We think we are in control, but God has ultimate control of everything that is going on and we need to surrender to Him, but do have choice. We can choose how we act and react to any change, but if it feels like you are ‘leaking energy and emotions’ then it is time to do and inventory.
An inventory is making a list of all those things in your life that is making the changes that are happening even harder to deal with. This could be good things, such as family, children, grandchildren or hard things, such as loss of job, loss of health or even death. We need to decide, which of these activities are optional, the things we must take care of and then we can see more clearly the things that we need help with and how to find the help that we need. Holley Garth goes on ‘We like to pretend we’re superwomen. We go through life checking off our endless to-do lists. Then change comes and we keep right on going. We begin to feel more frustrated and weary, so we berate ourselves and feel guilty. We say “I should be able to handle this!” But we are not superwomen’. This will help us to control the leaking energy and emotions.
Change is not a single event, it is a process and we need to work through the process one step at a time. ‘If you are alive and breathing right now, you know how to survive change. The thing is, when we’ve adjusted to change, we stop calling it “change” and just call it “normal”. The changes of yesterday make up the normal of today.’ She is so right!
God knows you. He knows what you need, you just have to trust Him.
- What do you need most right now?
- What is the best use of my emotions and energy?