During my really bad days I blame God for everything, from a simple spilling of my drink, to the missing of a bus i needed to make, but ended up missing, to something really big. However, it is my feelings towards God and not his feelings towards me that change. For God loves me no matter what I do, or indeed what I say and blaming him, is just part of the course of our relationship.
Depression is a recognized medical condition. It is more than sadness. Sadness is an emotion. Sadness is an emotion we all experience, it is apart of life. Without sadness we wouldn’t know happiness or joy. However, depression rips apart our sense of self, shattering our sense of belonging, even to God.
Depression cuts us off from others emotionally and from God spiritually, to the point that we cannot see these feelings as being part of the medical condition, but part of our own internal dialogue. Through depression, our internal dialogue can change from one of acceptance and love, creating happiness and joy to one of ‘nobody loves me, not even God.’ So, how do we change our negative internal dialogue?
The hardest thing for me to do when the depression is high, is to pray. I have found at these times it is easier to ask someone I trust to pray on my behalf. It is not my belief in God that is in question, but my belief in myself.
Keep a journal or even morning papers, either way write something down every day, even it is only a few words. Be prepared for hard words at the beginning, but these too will change as the depression lifts.
Read about Jesus Christ in the scriptures every day, even one verse allows God to speak to us.
Visit a sacred place often. Learn to sit and be quiet in that place. Take someone with you, someone who knows how you are feeling.
Trust a Friend
Trust at least one person with how you are feeling, really feeling, no kidding, no joking and no fooling around, just straight talking.
It is important that you seek qualified, medical help. This will make sure you are assessed and receive the correct diagnosis and treatment.
Remember depression like all illnesses can be cured with time and the correct help and understanding. Remember also that God loves you no matter what and has you in his hands and will never let go of you, all you need to do is stay open to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Remember no matter how lonely you feel, you are not alone.