Sometimes we need to be silent, but yet life makes us join in the dance of living. I like silence, some of the time, but these days I find that I have too much silence and I don’t always know how to deal with it. I like living on my own and I feel very blessed to live where I am living. My little flat is perfect for one person and two cats – yes, i said two cats and not one, more about number two when she comes out of hiding, these things cannot be rushed. I have also been blessed with new friends, who actually want to hang around with me, which is really weird. Why, is it weird? Let’s just say I was the child no one wanted to hang out with at school and the butt of everyone else’s jokes, however looking back I cannot see how I was any different from any other child, children can be so unkind at times. Everything in our life, good or bad, have brought us to this point. The one thing that marked me out as different was anxiety, anxiety that stopped me from talking to other people and being able to bounce back from whatever was thrown at me. Life hasn’t changed that much. The anxiety still drowns me some days and I run and hide, life overwhelms me and i ache for silence. However, silence brings time alone and time alone I end up drowning in anxieties, which have no foundation. Sleep is my ally. My get out button. But, it’s not as good as it sounds, as it becomes an ever decreasing circle. So, right now I need silence, and sleep, but yet I need quiet company too. Sorry for the lack of paragraphs, sometimes you just got to keep on writing until you get to the end of your thoughts.
- What are you thinking?
- How do you find silence in the noise?