…and only you love yourself enough to give yourself what you need every day. The only person we can truly change, almost on a daily basis is ourselves. We may share our thoughts through words or movements, but in the end we cannot make someone else join in our song or our dance. These things are our alone.
The deeper i go into my meditation the more i realize how much small i am – that doesn’t mean that the part or parts of me that make me, me are not of value, but i am coming to understand how some people can live silent lives totally alone. I am not sure that I want to be one of those people, but the world often feels foreign, alien to me.
I have begun to write a novel and a quote i read, from no idea where or from whom i know not, but to paraphrase it badly it went something like this – every character should want something even if it is a glass of water (Kurt Vonnetgut – apparently…) And i write i cannot help wondering if characters in a book are not unlike people in life, we all need to want something to go on, to exist, to be and that something can be as simple as a glass of water.
I look around my home and see things that are in boxes or on shelves that have not been moved since i moved in and i think i need to get ride of ‘you’ whatever it may be, but then i make excuses as to why not, or why it should stay. For instance, i was thinking about my bookcase at the end of last week and trying to decide how to clear out some of the books i have either never read or i have read, but are unlikely to read and in my head i had it all sorted. Then, on Saturday i sat and looked at the said bookcase and i thought (it kind of went like this ) – that shelf looks tidy, maybe i will leave that one…i know i am not going to read that, but i did want to when i bought it, maybe i will in the future, i will need it for now…i have so many books that others have lent me to read and i have never got round to them, not sure what to do with them, maybe put them in a box in the shed…my bookcase looks the same this evening as it did last week, not even one book as been moved.
Am I a failure? No…yes…no…maybe just for today…i will have another go i promise. And this is the way life is. We are forever making decisions, but we need to make decisions for ourselves and if someone else wants to join our song and our dance then it is up to us, not them. Then of course comes the chance to make music and a new dance.
- Have you found your music? your dance?
- Have you ever been in a situation when someone else’s dance was at odds or indeed blend with yours?