Living a Slow Life

Living a Slow Life

slow as a snail

A few months ago I fell out with God. It’s a big statement to make, I know, but for me it was true. I wasn’t sure I could trust him anymore, I felt let down and confused. I needed answers to why certain things had happened as they had done and replies were short in coming. In the end I set us a challenge – I wanted a certain thing to happen in my life and although I would do all that I could to bring it about I knew it would only happen if God gave me a miracle too. It wasn’t a world-wide miracle it was a very personal one. A blessing you could say that I was willing to work hard for, but I needed his help.
I have always felt a connection to God, I have felt his words bear testimony to my heart of their truthfulness, in truth God had changed me over the years. But, as this is my year of ‘Change,’ change is what I need.
After years of roughing it through life my body, my mind and my spirit broke. Broke in such a way that I am always in pain, night and day it matters not. The scale of that pain can go up or down, but nonetheless it is always there. Also I suffer from severe fatigue that no sleep cures for very long. I felt like I am being punished. Although I know that God does not punish us in a such a way – I do not see ailments as punishments from God, no way, no how, never, but whereas he could take them away, He allows them to be so we can learn to rely more on him. At the beginning I was given a Priesthood blessing and part of the blessing said that the reason I had been given my trial was for other people to learn to serve me. I am the hardest person to serve – honest I really am! God knows that I am guilty as charged.
For a while I didn’t think God was talking to me. Then in the last three weeks I have heard his voice through the words of others, through the scriptures, in my mind and in my heart. I have learnt that truth will always be truth no matter what it is, if it is true than it always will be. The Holy Ghost can only bear witness of the truth. I have learnt that I am as important as the moon, the earth and all things that live upon the earth. I have a right to be here.
All this said my life needs to change. I have been looking for a word for my new life – ‘simple life’ (no), simple living (no), quiet life (no), small life (no) small living (no)…then today while reading a blog post from a blog I hadn’t come across before I read ‘Slow Living,’
Yes…that was the life I am living. I am living a slow life. As I begin to understand where my life is heading I also understand more of what God wants me to change to make life better for me, because in the end this is my life, my journey…yes my journey back to Him.
My word for this year is ‘Change’ and I knew God would make changes in me and through me. Although I am grateful for all the blessings I have received in recent times, I still looking for my miracle. God brought me to this place, physically, mentally, emotionally and especially spiritually and I know he will continue to walk by my side even when I do not want to talk to him. I may feel lonely at times, but I am assured that I am never alone and neither are you.

5 thoughts on “Living a Slow Life

  1. No Beverley none of us ever walk alone, and I am sure God gives us all the answers yet at times it is we who do not see them or listen to them.. I am pleased you are seeing a greater perspective into your slower pace of living my friend..
    Love and warm thoughts and healing vibes your way.. ❤

  2. Slow Living sounds perfect. As I was reading this, the little song “God will make a way when there seems to be no way” started singing itself in my heart.

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